Obiter Dictum

2003-10-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

Fin-all-y. An update.

So y'all...I still am working at LifeHouse. But Dad wants me to get a "real" job, and so I've applied at Godiva, LTD Too, Bath and Body Works, and The Icing. Do you think that's enough variety? I really hope I get the Godiva one, because...how fun would THAT be? I got to talk with the manager for a bit...she was delightful.

2003-10-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Went to get my license today. I didn't think I'd have to take the driving test since I'd done parent-taught and where I am...your parent can say you don't have to take it and you won't have to.

The difficult DPS woman (as they always are...difficult...not women...) insisted that since I was 18, I had to take the test as an independent adult. Okayyy. So I drove around to the back of the building to wait for the police officer who was going to be the tester dude.

I parked and waited. Soon enough, the door opened. Out came....Shaft! I swear, this dude could've been his body double. Huge black dude, bald, even the sunglasses were present.

Ok so I haven't parallel parked once in my entire life. Real quick, before the test, I tried to and I aced it. But during the test, that dude freaked me out and I was already nervous enough...I made a 4 point parallel parking thing. Not horrid, but not the best either. Did I mention that I was in a massive Chevy astro van? Oh. Because I was.

I tried to take the test earlier, but the brake lights were out. So we ran over to Goodyear, got them fixed in like 10 minutes (insert huge props to the dudes at Goodyear), and went back and took the test.

Ahhhh. ::wipes hands:: All in a day's...uh...adventures. Whatever.

2003-10-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

Went to lunch with my mom and grandmother today...then went shopping for freezers. Am now being quite content with a Route 44 Ocean Water.

Had a row with my parents last night. There is much to think about. I almost wish I didn't, though. Think, that is. I almost wish I could do exactly what they want, when they want, with the exact attitude that they want. They would always be happy with me, then. I am constantly wondering and always wanting what I want. Not, really, what they want. Or, even, what they want me to want. Can I change that? Should I change that? I am myself, I am not them.

Maybe I should stop thinking about it. I just become more and more confused.

I have always been taught that if you give your kids everything they want, that means you do not really love them. I am now inclined to disagree. Not giving your kids what they want does not mean you love them *more* than if you gave them what they want.

I should stop trying to force it to make sense. It doesn't. Maybe I have to just accept that. Obviously, I can't at this point. But maybe I should put a little more effort into it.

::sigh::

"And then?!" hehe.

2003-10-06T12:24:00.000-07:00

"I love you a million Swedish fish."

2003-09-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me I looked German.

[Random thought.]

Let me address once more the issue soulmatery. Or whatever the practice of searching for one is. Whoever said, "Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without," needs to be handcuffed and fed cottage cheese from a spoon by a very large gorilla with ADD for the rest of their natural born life. What did you do before he came along? (The oneyoucantlivewithout, not the gorilla.)

Well, thank you, but I've lived without whoeverhewillbe for the past 18+ years and I've been just fine.

How do you expect to be content WITH someone if you cannot be so WITHOUT them? Contentedness, indeed happiness, depends upon you yourself. Not an outside party.

If I haven't made it clear enough yet: Getting married because you aren't happy single is the WORST REASON EVER.

2003-09-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

Eric made Belgian waffles this morning.

Mmm.

2003-09-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

So this morning I went to the highschool with Mom to register Alex to take the PSAT. The woman behind the desk was simply beside herself than a homeschooler was in the vicinity (she thought I was the subject at hand, and I wasn't...just company). She directed us to the cafeteria and said, "You will be just in time, if she's never heard a bell before, she'll get to hear a bell!" I shot a withering look in her general direction and said,

"I'm not in highschool anymore."

Haha, what did that have to do with anything, you ask? Nothing but that was precisely the point. It got her attention and made her feel ridiculous for even assuming that I WANTED to hear the retarded bell in the first place. At least, that was the desired effect. Ugh. Public school people are disturbing.

2003-09-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Lindsay and Ashlee were here the whole weekend (hence no blogging). We had such a fabulous time. It is good to have such friends. On Sunday, we were downtown and decided to have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I was going to pass on the cheesecake since I don't like it as a general rule. Ashlee got some, and I tried it...simply divine! It was more like mousse than cheesecake. My biggest problem with cheesecake is that its always too hard and chewy. Not this stuff. It was melt-in-your-mouth, sweet, fluffy goodness. So naturally I had my own piece. Even Lindsay had some and she dislikes cheesecake more than I do. So, all of this to say: miracles happen. Eh, yeah.

Something about the whole Ordeal (the only one, thankfully, that I'm dealing with at this moment) is still bothering me. I could not put it into words since I'm not sure why I'm still so disturbed by it. Usually, I bounce back from things very quickly - like 2-3 days max. I don't obsess at all, like...ever. When I told that to Lindsay on Sunday during the previews of Pirates of the Carribbean, I said, "I don't know why I can't just get over it..." I am not angry, really. Just wondering. Wondering ALL the time. She said, "Its because there was no closure." Um, closure? I told her, well isn't being sent home closure enough? But she's right - there was no proper closure...I didn't get to talk to the people I needed to talk to after I finally figured out what the actual problem was. So there are loose ends hanging everywhere. I hate that.

My quiche is getting cold. I will go eat it.

Oh, and The Things They Carried is another book that I will not finish. Add that to Peyton Place and that's two books in one week. Not good odds, I need to learn to pick better.

2003-09-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish alterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Theresa.

Y'know what? I plan on it. Mostly the first one: Forgive anyway. Yesterday, I wrestled with the subject and came to the conclusion that if I didn't hurry up and forgive ... I would most likely hang onto it forever. And that's no good. So...instead of trying to rationalise the events of this weekend in my head and make my forgiveness of certain people seem logical - I've decided to forgive anyway. Even if it doesn't make sense. Because it certainly doesn't. Why forgive? Because frankly, I still love Jesus and he told me to. If that is the only reason I have for forgiving those who have hurt me, then it is good enough. Not logic - but faith. Not common sense - but love for my Lord. Not ignoring pain for it is still there - but the realisation I am loved by an Almighty God.

And now, I shall move forward. What is the Christian life but a steady forward motion with God?

2003-09-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts by Eric: (for today)

"You should get a little mouse and name it Princess."

Uh, sure.

Today's procurements:

Big, red canvas box for letters.
Three blue candles.
Four pilsner glasses.
"A Reader's Journal" (to keep track of what I read, what I thought about it, and my favorite passages of any book)

From the library (o dearly missed sanctuary):

Mansfield Park (which I have admittedly never read)
Peyton Place

2003-09-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

Mr. DeLaura's reaction to the situation this weekend was my favorite so far: an outburst of laughter. He was almost doubled-over he was laughing so hard.

Gave me a little perspective. I also realize how bizarre it all is...and now...how pretty much hilarious.

"That is so far removed from reality!" - Mr. D.

Mrs. C (pastor's wife) came up and said, "I'm so proud of you!" and gave me a high-five. Or, a few high-fives actually. I'm not sure why, but it made me feel awesome.

Mrs. M's reaction was, "I sure hope he can find a bubble to live in somewhere..."

Life goes on, people.

Janel sent me an awesome verse today: "For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded; therefore have I set my face like a flint; and I know that I shall not be ashamed." Is. 50:7

2003-09-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning out my closet and came across a folder of work I did back in the second grade.

I had written a story about Johnny Appleseed (or, illustrated for a pre-written story). The last page has a picture of a world on it. The words underneath say, "In his later years, Johnny continued to move west and even planted trees in Ohio." So I drew the world with "West" smack in the center of a huge ocean. Then there's another country...er...Ohio....up at the top. "Germai" is to the right, Pennsylvania to the left, and China beneath. All separate countries. I guess I thought Ohio was just SO far away...

And then I came across a story that I wrote:

The Splashtown Leprachaun

A green leprechaun asked me to go to Splashtown with him so I asked my mom and she said yes so Grace and I went to Splashtown together. We had alot of fun together. We got wet alot! Do you know why? I'll tell you why. The reason is because we were in Splashtown and in Splashtown you get wet!

Haha!! Duh! I was a smart little second-grader.

2003-09-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I were a t-rex.

Because then I could just stomp on anyone I did not like.

2003-09-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm officially home now.

Such pain. Never have I experienced such uncaring in my life. I know they think that this is not a big deal and that they think they are doing the best for me by "protecting" me (from what? I'd like to know).

By God's grace, I will not hate. Anything with that name on it now makes me cringe. I hope that passes because I know that if it does not - it will most likely stay with me forever. And that is an unnecessary thought process that I don't need. Forgiveness right now is impossible. But I know that we cannot forgive outside of the grace of God which has forgiven us. And that is what I cling to.

In my power, I cannot and I won't.

2003-09-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

This morning, God gave me a song.

Lord, take my hand
I don't think I can stand
For my mountain is too high to climb.

Please hear my plea
I can't wait to be freed
By Your promise fulfilled in your time.

For He holds all my mountains
In the palm of His hand
My struggles and burdens cease at His command.

He brings joy to my valleys
And peace to my land.
For he holds all my mountains in the palm of His hand.

Try as I might
I cannot win the fight
When I do things outside of Your plan
Mountains seem tall till on Your name I call
For they're pebbles in the palm of Your hand.

(Brian Archer)

Lord, please bring joy to this valley. This burden is heavy, and I am not strong. This road is frightening, and I am not brave. The fight is heavy, and I am not courageous.

2003-09-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, Big Sandy.

It was nice while it lasted.

2003-09-11T12:13:00.000-07:00

Went over to the Medic's classroom this morning. They needed volunteers to practice IV's on. Rawson found my vein in one try, and so did Kinz. Spear had a little trouble but it didn't really hurt. Silly me, I didn't even take any cookies when I left. :( Oh well.

Laura, Lisa and I went over to Jess and Megan's house right before lunch and filled their Blazer with balloons and put Oreos on the windows that spelled things. It was fun.

I'm not feeling to great right now. I think I might go home and take a nap. ::waaa::

2003-09-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

Not to be a follower, but Kate...dreams.

"Do you ever just know something is going to happen? Have I not said this before? It's so real. I feel it. I know it. Maybe it won't happen for a long time. Maybe I will forget. But I don't think so."

Could've come from my own over-taxed, obsessive brain.

2003-09-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

I thought it was all fake. I thought everyone was meant to live happily ever after. That's what I get for reading so many fairy tales. I also thought that horrible relationship things only happened to other people. Not people that I'm close to, or heaven forbid me myself. Welcome to the real world, Lara.

Hang the movies! Even if the perfect-teethed lovers do end up together, you never hear about the man's previous "one and only's" or the woman's former obsessions.

And, if you haven't heard this already and if you aren't a girl here's a little news flash: Women obsess. We think, talk, dream, and rant about one thing (whatever it happens to be) over and over. Mostly in circles. This process is complicated but apparently vital to our survival.

2003-09-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

At Best by John Boyle O'Reilly:

The faithful helm commands the keel,
From port to port fair breezes blow;
But the ship must sail the convex sea,
Nor may she straighter go.

So, man to man; in fair accord,
On thought and will the winds may wait;
But the world will bend the passing word,
Though its shortest course be straight.

From soul to soul the shortest line
At best will bended be:
The ship that holds the straightest course
Still sails the convex sea.

__

This is giving me fits. I cannot seem to understand it, much less interpret it. Any ideas? What is he actually saying?

2003-09-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

"Well man cannot live by fruit alone or things that look strangly like pancakes either."

(Eric.)

2003-09-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

In light of a certain conversation, and then stumbling upon this:

"Far more fortunate than anyone alive or dead are the people who never existed, who were never faced with choices or cursed with the fact that everything they do and say affects the lives they are chained to live. "

I feel the need to say something. Anything, really.

When you're in the middle of a completely horrid, rotten time - the easy way out is to wish you'd never been born. In my hardest times, I always did. Times, for me, have sort of plateaued into one long, flat road. I just keep plodding. But sometimes, its happy plodding. Why? Because I make it so, and because God is still a God of love and even more amazing than that - He loves *me*. The physics alone just boggles the mind. He rescued me because he delighted in me.

He delighted in you, too, Pirate.

Sometimes, its the little things that count. Not great, grand wonderful states of mind. To say, "I'm happy" implies that every part of you, every known faculty is at the moment content/joyful/satisified. When I'm eating chow mein noodles, I am happy. I may be stewing about the latest saga, but because I'm doing something I like to do (eating noodles), I'm happy. Well, maybe I shouldn't use the word "happiness" because it seems too temporary. And it usually is...I mean, once I stop eating the noodles, I'm probably bound to delve back into the deeper recesses of my mind and stew more. Joy. A sort of quiet, constant happiness regardless of, well, anything. That, however, is unattainable on our own. Small happinesses (like eating noodles or going to Starbucks or doing math) can be humanly achieved because you say "I will do it" and then you do. But Joy is even better...I'm not sure how to explain it...so I won't. But those who have experienced it will know what I'm talking about.

2003-08-31T13:55:00.000-07:00

Now for some hilarity, compliments of Robin Hood:

"A toll is a toll. And a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, we don't eat no rolls. I made that up."

Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.

2003-08-31T06:32:00.000-07:00

I was going to send an email, but what I have to say is blog-worthy.

K, D...my strength is not my own. Frankly, just because I have not keeled over and died a slow, horrible death does not mean I am strong. And I can only point to Christ as the reason that I have not become bitter. Heh, or died for that matter.

These things happen, and I can't just stop being. I must still wake up every morning, still must face people every day, still must work and live life. And so...I do.

"That is what we do. That is what people do. They stay alive for each other. " (The Hours)

There is no one point where I could say, "Okay, I'll stop now. Stop everything because this is far too painful to continue living. So, I'm stopping."

"I would define true courage to be a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it." (William Tecumseh Sherman)

That's the thing. One must decide. But I am so fearful.

2003-08-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

Garrison Keillor and friends sang this on a Prairie Home Companion today, and you almost cannot appreciate it without the music. But still, here it is.

Bye Bye Love (as performed by the Everly Brothers)

Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness
I think I'mgonna cry
Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye

There goes my baby with someone new
She sure looks happy, I sure am blue
She was my baby till he stepped in
Goodbye to romance that might have been

Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness
I think I'm-a gonna cry
Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye

I'm-a through with romance, I'm through with love
I'm through with counting the stars above
And here's the reason that I'm so free
My lovin' baby is through with me

Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness
I think I'm-a gonna cry
Bye bye love, bye bye sweet caress, hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye

Bye bye my love goodbye
Bye bye my love goodbye

2003-08-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

But you know, Kate, he is coming back. That is the warmest, most secure feeling in the world. Knowing that the one you love will come back to you.

Once upon a time, I knew what that was like.

2003-08-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." Oscar Wilde.

Yeah, I know. Only, I wish sometimes that instead of talking about me behind my back, they'd talk about me to my face. I'm fighting the evils of gossip right now. Horrid part is, I probably did say what they said I said. Only, out of context its bound to sound more atrocious than it actually is. Well, and I'd have to disagree with Ogden Nash who thinks he'd rather have people "bite his back and not his face off". At least if its in my face I can deal with it. When things are spinning around me causing others to assume...well...anything apparently - I feel so helpless. And anything said in my defense by my own self is seen as trying to get out of trouble.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. Like I said to Rachel tonight at dinner...today was not good...it sort of was smooth sailing right off a cliff.

"Our feet on the torrent's brink,
Our eyes on the clouds afar;
We fear the things we think,
Instead of the things that are."

John Boyle O'Reilly

I've asked my housemates to keep me accountable in such things as were brought to my attention today. ("Blind spots" for those who care.) I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wants me here. So, I adapt.

Called Mom. Was good to talk to someone who already knows the real me.

So many doubters. Frankly, I'm pretty much an open book...I don't hide things well if at all...it will just take time, I suppose. But, Lord, I am so impatient.

2003-08-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

If you aspire to be a person of consolation, if you want to share the priestly gift of sympathy, if you desire to go beyond giving commonplace comfort to a heart that is tempted, and if you long to go trhough the daily exchanges of life with the kind of tact that never inflicts pain, then you must be preared to pay the price for a costly education. (Frederick William Robertson)

2003-08-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Give what you have, for you never know - to someone else it may be better than you can even dare to think. (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

2003-08-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

Strive to be one of the few who walk this earth with the ever present realization - every morning, noon, and night - that the unkown that people call heaven is directly behind those things that are visible. (LB Cowman)

Mm, good words. It's so easy to lose track of heaven.

2003-08-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

You're Sweden!

After years of trying to rule the world around you, you've
finally put aside violence in favor of advocating peaceful resolution. There's
still a little Viking in you, but mostly you like Nobel Prize winners and long
nights by the fire. And safe cars. You always read the safety manual
in airplanes, and you're just a little cold.
face="Times New Roman">Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Hm. Smouched this quiz idea from Pirate. I know, shameless. But it was fun anyway.

2003-08-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

"Don't forget your binoculars!"

My *ahem* grandmother's advice for going to ALERT. She thinks I should take up "bird watching". If she were any younger, and there at the same time as me, she would be such a bad influence.

My family has bad luck with car wrecks. Thing is, its never with other cars. Aforementioned grandmother had the front end loader of a tractor crash into the back of her Cadillac a few days ago. Crinkled her trunk. Then an ice cream truck hit my mom's van a few weeks ago. You think they're placid with all that nice music and good popcicles, but no, they are wild crashing machines.

So my dad is in the running for Colonel. Only some tell him he might need a master's degree to increase his chances. Apparently, it doesn't really matter what the degree is in, they just like how it looks on paper. He could get a degree in cosmetology for all they care. Oddness. That's the gov for ya.

Funny story. My cousin and uncle and her stepmom were out I don't remember where, and they saw this kid on a bike. Only, he was pedaling with his arms, it was one of those types of bikes where you can do that. So my uncle yelled, "Get a REAL bike!" Then, they all noticed he had no legs! I think they tried to find a place to hide, but there's no way the kid could've missed what my uncle yelled at him. Sad, but funny.

2003-08-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hmm, it appears that I am the only one who has not seen anything of Mighty. I hope you plan to rectify this situation presently, Li.

2003-08-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

So I've been in SA the whole weekend. Went to Seaworld on Friday with the fam, but I'm such a rollercoaster addict...forget the fish shows! Shamu schmamu. Yeah, jumping killer whales would normally be simply enamoring...but compared to the Steel Eel that pulls some pretty awesome G's, ::shrug::.

Went to the base last week to get a military ID made. It looks dumb, but I think it's pretty much an ID tradition: bad pictures. I had one when I was a baby, so it wasn't too much trouble.

Shopping in Fredericksburg was lovely. Cute little shops, hot weather, ice scream, small town. Very cozy.

So! Onward I go to ALERT on Tuesday. Must pack and clean out my room since one of the brothers will take it.

2003-08-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

"I laughed and said whatever, dude."

-Deanna

2003-08-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

So, I leave Tuesday.

I had so much to say, but it is very hot here (103, heat index 110) and I think I've baked my brain. Too much running around today.

2003-08-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some fond memories of TESOL:

- Dr. Anderson and his camera (and now with that powerpoint, who can forget it?).
- Playing Apples to Apples (Duct tape is always trustworthy).
- Ultimate and when Grayson would say "We who are about to die salute you" we would lose.
- Mr. Hill's Ranger or whatever that Gator-like thing was.
- Scrat and his antics.
- Angie and Sarah letting me vent in their room past curfew (hope Karen does not read this).
- Starbucks in Target!!
- Sophia and her bodyguard, Shawn.
- The Cups Game and also the "This Is A Fork" game.
- Sunday night with Lindsay (only two other people will remember this).
- Audra's Cat in the Hat game.
- Pinball, Solitaire, and the Skittles game where they melted together. Grayson says its sort of like Tetris, but its actually sort of like Skittles falling down and melting together and making weird faces. (Yes, in this game, Skittles have faces.)
- Reminiscing with Rachel about Pogs, Giga Pets, My Little Ponies, Ramona Quimby and other things.
- Yolanda's Spanish class.
- One word: Hakki sak. Okay, that's two.

Anything else? If you happen to see this and you are from TESOL and you can think of more things, comment and I'll add them!

2003-08-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

welcome to the planet
welcome to existence
everyone's here (everyone's here)
everybody's watching you now
everybody waits for you now
what happens next? (what happens next?)

i dare you to run
i dare you to move (i dare you to move)
i dare you to lift yourself up off of the floor
i dare you to move (i dare you to move)
like today never happened
today never happened before

welcome to the fallout
welcome to resistance
The tension is here (tension is here)
between who you are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be

(chorus)

maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
salvation is here

Switchfoot, I Dare You to Move

Hm. I don't feel like moving. Today was mentally pivotal, I think. Various points in the past three weeks have been such, and I'm sort of getting tired of mental revolutions and pivotal moments. My slate has been wiped clean and new things are being written on it. In ten days or so, I leave for ALERT for 4 months. My "attachments" (and only a few will know what I mean by that) to certain people have been painfully detached from my tangle of soul ties. I'm sort of numb now. But the greatest thing so far has been God. He will never leave me or promise me things that he cannot fulfill. He is my strong tower and my refuge.

These past weeks, a times I would be in the middle of such a horrible storm...just violent unrest and often depression. But I knew, that I could sort of pull aside the shades of the storm and look out and see Jesus waiting for me to rest in Him. Nothing material (including people and including myself) will ever lift me out of such places. EVER. Only something higher than myself, something stronger and never-changing.

2003-07-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

The last post was Saturday, the day before Sunday. The day before...well...here:

"An event has happened on which it is impossible to speak yet impossible to be silent." (Remind me later to attribute this since it is currently 1:47 in the a.m. and I am sitting on my bed in OKC typing this while Ginger, Holly, Nada, and Angie talk in my room and Lauraine sleeps.)

Deanna, you will die when you hear this. You might, too, Kate, I don't know. I almost did. Do you see me jumping off this planet? Do you see me running screaming from the room? Do you see me trying to re-wire my brain around pretty much everything about this certain subject that I have ever KNOWN?

Almost a psycho-revolution. I do not recommend them.

2003-07-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, I sprained my wrist Tuesday. Stupid thing is taking forever to heal, but I still played Ultimate last night and made a few awesome catches. :) Yay for me.

My roommate is so fabulous. Ya'll would love her. She actually lives in Shanghai, and I've promised to go visit her.

2003-07-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Big Sandy, ALERT for those who know.

That is the job offer. A smidgen of graphic design and other miscellaneous things that need doing.

2003-07-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm not going to Taiwan.

Wonder what God has for me next. I'm seriously excited to find out, since He's nixed pretty much everything else. ::grin::

2003-07-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hi from OK.

Class is fun...having trouble staying awake.

2003-07-08T15:06:00.000-07:00

Anytime I feel like I want to be famous, I will read this again.

It's all fake! Fake fake fake. That makes me sad for them and even sadder for people who read tabs and such. This may have struck my fancy since I spent the morning getting my hair cut and also listening to my stylist and another stylist talk about The Young and the Restless and the latest happenings. ::cringes::

There is a Toothpaste cartoon where this guy is holding a huge cup of coffee (I mean "huge" as in "almost bigger than his body"), and he says, "Even THIS MUCH coffee couldn't make television interesting." Mmhmm.

2003-07-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

A small message to girls who want to join the Service:

Know your stuff. Don't just look at a few brochures, close your eyes, and point to one. Talk to recruiters, talk to recruits, talk to higher ups if you can. Talk to people who didn't make it. But most of all - get a vision.

Three reasons girls join:

1) To get away from home.
2) To prove themselves.
3) To see the world.

If you are joining for only ONE of those reasons, DON'T. This isn't a vacation. You CANNOT just decide one small morning that you're going to do it. Its a gigantic decision and you must decide if you are ready for it.

Most likely, whatever you think it is, it isn't.

2003-07-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

It has been raining all weekend. Not cool for 4th of July weekend. This morning we had to take all of our tubes back to the rental place...unused. Definitely not cool. It was cold and raining, but Ash and I rode in the back with Alex to make sure that all 9 of them didn't fly out of the truck bed. Ash and I just kept riding that way even on the way back...we were already soaking wet and freezing anyway - no used getting the cab all soggy.

To add insult to injury, both rodeos were cancelled. We've mainly been in the house or riding around in the rain on the 'wheelers. Which is also a worthy pasttime.

2003-07-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

"When are y'all leaving?"

I don't know. Nobody tells me anything.

"Well in all of my 40 years, I've learned that's the best way to live."

Hmmm...sage advice from my aunt. I rather agree with her. Easier to go with the flow than obsess about the details sometimes.

2003-07-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Why aren't more people watching Stephenoploawseo...stephanopowhatever his name is?

Because, Mr. George, your last name is too hard to pronounce. Who goes around saying "Oh, Stephwhatever said that..."? Nobody, thats who.

2003-07-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

"I feel bad for the little peeps out there who have these awesome girls right in front of them and they just let them go. I hope that you get stuck with some gorgeous witch who'll grind your bones to make her bread..."

-Kate.

2003-07-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

So the Sgt comes up to me last night telling me how I need to stop...um...what? Laughing? Joking? Smiling? Apparently, I don't keep my military composure enough. Coming from a 15 year old punk (who just last week was at my house annoying the mac-and-cheese out of me and wanting to make queso)...this was not cool. But, seeing as how he drastically outranks me, I said "Yes, sir". Let me ask you, people, do I seem like an overly hyper/joking-all-the-time sort of person?

Do I?

Frankly, it doesn't matter what you think but from now on I think I'll stick to the 6 Responses with him. That was NOT COOL!

2003-07-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

To update everyone on my future: I've applied to go to Taiwan teaching English as a second language. I know God is fully in control, but this feels like a process of elimination rather than an actual calling. Don't get me wrong - I feel this is the right thing to do, and what an opportunity! I'm just weary of searching. And now I feel a song coming on! (No really, these words are...well read for yourself.)

Around
by everman

There's an awfully big world
Out in front of such a small girl
You've decided that you're leaving
And you're not afraid
So you’re going to leave it all behind you
And go where you think my love won’t find you
But striking out alone
Doesn’t meant that you’re brave

I’ll let you go
But I will follow

I'll be around
Because your heart will break
But I know that you don't want to hear that now
I'll be around
That will never change
So when you're lonely and this world has let you down
I'll be around

You are so courageous
Your destiny is greatness
I can see tomorrow's promise
When I look in your eyes
But the path laid out before you
Has the power to destroy you
And I hope that you won't falter
Because of your pride

I love you still
I always will

I understand you feel the need to test your newfound freedom
I’m on my knees praying you will find the truth you’re seeking
I’ll be right beside you if you ever need a friend

You’re on your own
But you’re not alone
I know God’s love will lead your heart back home

2003-06-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

Who wants to work for people who give you little hours, pay that doesn't even cover your training, and don't give you your schedule ahead of time?

Nobody, that's who.

Jennifer chewed Alex out for quitting above job. She gets whats coming to her...i.e. a bunch of little kid swimming lessons in their back yards. If only he could some how sabotage her schedule...

2003-06-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

"I've forgotten how to fly."

"One does."

-Hook.

2003-06-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

"If there's anything on this ship more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now"

"Pardon me for breathing, which I can't do anyway.... Oh, I'm so depressed."

Don't mind me, I'm just quoting movies today. These are apparently from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy although I have yet to see it these are incredibly funny.

2003-06-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

"And so, that is what we do. That is what people do. They stay alive for each other. "

-The Hours

I don't recommend this movie, because perhaps this was the only redeeming piece of verbage from it. Long, mostly boring, very intense. Intense in that I can still see Meryl Streep's face and hear her voice as she says the words above. Maybe it is because I saw it twice in one week...thanks to Delta who showed the SAME MOVIE for both the East and West flights!!!

2003-06-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/082502/is-it-a-joke.gif

Cut and paste that. Links don't seem to work...MC Hamster as an example.

2003-06-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

My brother has ordered three wallabies from New Zealand.

They will be arriving in a few days at DFW where we are to pick them up.

Does anybody else see the lunacy in this?

2003-06-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

When the going gets tough, the tough...leave.

2003-06-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have much to say but no way to say it. So, like I always do, I'll change the subject.

Am halfway through Jane Eyre...she and Mr. Rochester have such raw passion for each other. The games they played (with Miss Ingram &c) were eerily similar to the ones we play today.

So far...my favorite parts: (Loosely applied.)

"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear."

"I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr. Rochester: I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me."

-Jane as narrator to her own story of a party at Thornwood where she suffered the jealousy of seeing her object of affection give specific attentions to another woman.

"You are cold, because you are alone; no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you. You are sick: because the best of feelings, the highest and the sweetest given to man, keeps far away from you. You are silly, because, suffer as you may, you will not beckon it to approach; nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits you."

Of parlor-room conversations: "They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catasrophe - marriage."

"This was very pleasant: there is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort."

"In listening, I sobbed convulsively; for I could repress what I endured no longer; I was obliged to yield, and I was shaken from head to foot with acute distress. WHen I did speak, it was only to express an impetuous wish that I had never been born..."

"My future husband was becoming to me my whole world; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven."

2003-06-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

The best thing about IM conversations with Deanna is at one point I always end up laughing so hard I fall off my chair.

Now that is friendship.

2003-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Last night was intense.

I had trained for the shuttle run earlier in the afternoon at 32 ft with flat objects. I could make it in just 11.3 seconds at that. The first time, I'm sure I made it. But there weren't the proper PT people present so it didn't count. After that, I bombed. I beat all the guys, still, but didn't beat my own goal time. So I cannot advance to senior airman until next month. Until then...some serious shuttle run training.

During organised PT...when we're all in formation, etc...Ashley fainted. I ran over and helped Sgt. Howell turn her on her back, her eyes were rolling up in her head. It was frightening. I ran inside to get her water and a towel or something (if only I could have run that fast during the shuttle run). She came to pretty quickly. It was all good in the end.

Was called into the office several times to work out a big mess involving verbal harassment. (Me being the victim.) Was quite an ordeal.

Talked to Deanna last night and it was good.

2003-06-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged this whole weekend.

Took a road trip to drop everybody off at boot camp. Was glad I didn't stay.

2003-06-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

It figures.

2003-06-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Being with family all day has its rewards. I learned a few things about myself, mainly.

Like, when I'm in a stressful situation (i.e. a "discussion" with Mom, etc), I start humming! I didn't know this until Mom and Eric started laughing at me about it. Then they informed me that I've been doing it all my life and whenever things get tense, I start humming. Odd.

And also, Mom informed me as we drank strawberry daquiris on the beach today that I probably relate well to guys and I will probably be very compatable with my future husband by default because I've never been one of those girls who pours her feelings out all the time. This is true. She explained that its practically like pulling teeth to get me to tell her exactly how I'm feeling. I didn't know this. Although, pretty much the only time that I express my true feelings is when I'm angry. I think anger...or rather just a serious case of being ticked off...is my usual outlet. Heh.

So all in all - it was a trip to self-discovery. And it was pretty short.

2003-06-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

Pounding out La Folia is one quick remedy for being stressed.

2003-06-19T12:41:00.000-07:00

Why must one go to college in order to be successful? (However you term success.)

If it is strictly for the knowledge, though, then why is a medium such as organised college necessary?

Maybe I am still just so sick of school that the idea of college makes me want to run screaming from the room.

2003-06-18T21:56:00.000-07:00

What am I waiting around for?

Good night world.

2003-06-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

MC Hamster

2003-06-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

Poems from "Eat, Drink, And Be Merry: Poems about food and drink."

I Never Had A Piece Of Toast

I never had a piece of toast,
Particularly long and wide,
But fell upon the sanded floor,
And always on the buttered side.

[anonymous]

Coffee

Coffee arrives, that grave and wholesome Liquor,
That heals the stomach, makes the genius quicker,
Relieves the memory, revives the sad,
And cheers the Spirits, without making mad...

[anonymous]

Peas

I always eat peas with honey,
I've done it all my life,
They do taste kind of funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.

[anonymous]

Funny, the best ones had authors that wouldn't claim them.

2003-06-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

I know many quoteable people:

"Life is sausage being made."

-Mr. D who is moving away to another state and I am not happy.

"Have a great day, and never lose that girly charm, you ATI goddess, you."

-You'd never guess so there's no point in telling.

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and
think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.' "

-Anonymous, but Mom sent it to me so I'm giving her credit.

2003-06-18T10:32:00.001-07:00

I had a full day at home yesterday, mostly cleaning. I kept thinking random things and would write 'em in Notepad for fun. Here they are:

I keep finding little travel hairsprays all over the place. I don't even use hairspray.

On the bathroom counter, I discovered (underneath a few choice, more bathroom-like objects) a list that Eric made of meals he wants to cook. I took the list to his room, found a pen, and wrote, "Yummy ideas!" on it.

Tonight at dinner, Eric announced, "You know, you may think Lara's a recluse, but today I went up stairs and she was IMing six people at once."

I didn't know anyone thought I was a recluse. Twould be hard to figure since...um, I am not.

Oh yes, he must be on a roll today. This afternoon he came up and declared, "Lara, I just read this article in Reader's Digest and I've decided [well-placed pause for effect] ...that you're depressed."

I said, "Thanks for telling me."

_______________________________________________
Next thought process:

Despite what it feels like, this is not a relationship.

I read the word "evanescence" in a novel I've picked up. I thought it was merely the name of a band, so I hurry over to the dictionary to look it up. The verb form, "evanesce" means to vanish or to disappear gradually. I struggle with the noun form, evanescence. Concluding the verb form is just fine, I return to my novel.

In my cleaning, I finally arrived at my desk. My favorite and most hated spot to clean. The clutter is neat here...organised in piles according to size, really, and not anything else. Underneath the first layer, I find scraps of paper and envelopes that say "I love David" everywhere. Signs of Ashley. Fortunately for her, I'll just sweep them all in the trash. Ex-boyfriends can be swept aside in like manner. I also unearth the hoarde of thank-you notes I have yet to address.

Projects for tomorrow:

Finish thank-you notes.
Attempt some journaling or at least the pasting of funny comics onto the pages.
Fill in descriptions for pictures in Bekah's photo album.
Vacuum again.

2003-06-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

Still nothing about the postcard.

2003-06-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

A mystery!

I got a postcard in the mail yesterday featuring Wall, South Dakota (wherever that is). The postmark was unreadable. All it had was my name and address on it - handwritten - but no note.

So, if whoever sent that to me could please identify themselves, I'd be pleased.

And also - the position in Chicago has already been filled. I suppose now I know definitely that it was not God's plan for me to work there, eh? Moving on! We'll see where He takes me. It's such an adventure. Surprisingly I have no anxiety over it, really.

2003-06-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a few bearing checks...those are the hardest. I'd rather do a million pushups than have a sergeant in my face trying to break me down. They've figured out the easiest thing that makes me break is getting me to laugh. So that is what they do. They get right in my face (of course they all have to bend down a little, which makes them look even funnier) and about that time I start laughing. If I'm not already laughing from something else they did to another cadet. The 4 of them had a conference about me. How to make me tougher. I'm interested to know what they came up with.

I had an aerospace engineering test last night, too. Not only did I pass, but I made no mistakes and had no points taken off! Cpt. Mills announced my test results to the whole flight with awe. Probably because of the last test which I failed 5 times in a row. Everybody clapped and cheered for me. It was satisfying.

The hazing regs are sort of ridiculous. Our sergeants can't order us to "get down and give 'em 20" unless he is willing to do it with us. Naturally, we never have to do any. If I were a sergeant, I'd be right down there on the pavement doing pushups...

2003-06-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

"She seems a little strange. I bet she carries on conversations all by her lonesome."

Only if I'm angry, thank you. Quoting complete strangers who describe me is always amusing.

2003-06-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

And if one day I have a whole passle of kids, perhaps I could drive this around:

Question is, would they all fit?

2003-06-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

Whenever I have a house that is mine to decorate, I will put a big red phone booth in it. Maybe in the entry?

Here's the exact one. Though I may have to go to England to get it.

2003-06-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

I told myself only one Nash poem today, but since I haven't posted one in forever - I figure I have some catching up to do:

The Termite
by Ogden Nash

Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.

2003-06-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

Turn your radios on! The Thistle and Shamrock is up!

2003-06-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice
by Ogden Nash

There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologzie publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.

2003-06-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

The anticipation is usually worse than the actual event. But not this time! No, I was not anxious at all, miraculously. When I got up there, however, I was shaking and my mind was hyper-focused on the piece. I basically bombed even though everyone said otherwise. Thank you, people, for lying - but I know when I'm not up to par, this was definitely one of those times.

It was my last piano recital. This Beethoven piece is going to the back of the box now, I never want to hear it again.

I saw Daniel Campbell and his family. I had forgotten that they take from the Brownlees until the split second before he said hello. So I didn't have to employ my "Oh! I didn't know you were going to be here!" line that I had ready in my head. My facial expressions always work faster than my words, though. ;) It was good to talk to him again. Got some tips about HQ - although that job is still up in the air.

"I wait for the Lord..." Why? Because I can. It is simply wonderful to have something other than human "in the running". I do not understand athiests/agnostics. There but by the grace of God go I.

2003-06-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

That was definitely interesting.

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-06-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

This post is purely for Q's benefit, although I think I'll get something out of typing about it.

I got in this morning around 1 a.m., my plane having landed 2 hours past scheduled. The plane from Seattle left late, which was fortunate because I wouldn't had to have spent so much time in DFW (a very boring airport). I arrived at my gate (E24, if you care) to find it full of rushing, fuming masses of people. I checked out the moniter and saw that they had scheduled 6 flights to leave around the same time at one gate. I stood in line for an eternity, patiently endured the people who shamelessly cut, and finally was able to ask the girl at the desk about the status of my flight. Flying standby is such an adventure - I highly recommend that everyone do it at least once in their lifetime. She said I was 7th on the list of eight people waiting for seats on a flight which had exactly 8 empty seats. I usually ignore airport people for the simple reason that they ignore me (life seems easier that way, at least), but the girl next to me was ready to blow a fuse that her flight had been delayed so long. We talked. Someone announced that my flight had been moved to another gate which happened to be located on the exact opposite side of the airport. God bless whoever invented those moving sidewalks. I finally arrived at the correct gate only to find an even more rushing, fuming crowd. 6 flights scheduled for the same gate. It was late, people were cranky. There was some cheering, some booing...craziness. I waited around until they finally mentioned my flight (an hour later than it's departure time). I had still been waiting in the line that never moved to get a seat assignment, but when they announced that all of my flight's passengers should board immediately - I just walked to the front...two other girls and a guy (who I assumed were together but weren't) also had the same problem. Standby passengers needing to get on that plane that they were now saying had no seats. We all convinced the woman to start calling people's names and if they didn't show up for their boarding passes then she'd give us the seats. She did, and we got seats. The two girls had been bumped from another flight. Then, there was lightening on the ramp. By this time, everyone else had boarded the plane and the five of us were just waiting right outside the door. We all agreed that we didn't care if we were struck by lightning - we just needed to get on that plane. :) We waited and waited and waited. I was shaking because I was so hungry, but by this time it was so late that all the food places were closed. I ate some gum. Which only made my jaws hurt. The guy (I can't remember his name but it started with a B) let me use his cell phone to call my people. The woman kept telling me that if I left, she'd give my seat to somebody else. So going to a pay phone wasn't really an option. Finally, three of us got on to the ramp. He and an older man had stopped and I was like, "Um, what are we doing?" We all started laughing. It was incredibly absurd - this whole ordeal. Because now we couldn't get out on the runway to climb the steps to our plane because of the rain! We waited everywhere...in the terminal, on the ramp, outside the plane while some luggage was being dealt with, and then on the runway in the plane! AAAHHH. Found out Cell Phone dude was headed to a wedding and other things as we talked while we waited. What a mess. So finally I'm home.

After a fantastic trip and hanging out with Deanna in Seattle...it was totally worth it.

"That was a beautiful funeral."
"We were the most good-looking ones there!"
"We were the ones who made it beautiful!"

Compliments of Will and Grace - now a small inside joke...among others.

And also - Q, I could have sworn I saw the Relient K lead in DFW. I thought he looked familiar...hm...but what are the chances of that, eh? I don't even listen to them! ("Oh, hi, I know who you are, but I don't listen to your music because it rots..." etc.)

2003-06-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

As for Kathryn. What was I to do? I waited for her to do the right thing. I waited, because I knew she could. And also my naivete got in my way. I didn't realise how deep she was in above her head. Being between friends and their parents is always the worst thing. But sometimes staying out of it...well, that's not an option. I know I could have changed it - but I chose not to. I don't regret that decision. Its almost impossible to say to a friend, soulmate rather, "I know this will hurt, and it will be by my hand, but I must." I'm tired of doing that. Where do things end up in the end?

2003-06-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

HEY! I'm here.

Not much to blog about except this fabulous guacamole burger I had at Red Robin tonight.

Will blog later...I blogged at Elizabeth's request. :)

2003-05-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Seattle on Wednesday.

::tries to contain excitement::

This is SO great! I'll be back on the 12th. But I can blog until then. And maybe even while I'm there, but we'll see...

2003-05-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, Deanna knows the most about me...as per the survey I emailed. I have a no-forward policy, but excused myself from it just this once. :) I would have expected her to know what she knew. So yay!

Kate!!! I am so incredibly happy for you. He loves you! What a beautiful feeling. And I am so proud of you and him for doing it so purely.

I am being nostalgic today. I was thinking about Amanda and how she always says "sufficient" for everything. And Jess who needs a new cell phone, her's is a dinosaur. And Bekah - happy birthday, girl! I'm sure there was more, but that's all for now.

Jacquet has an excellent new song. Inspired by me, apparently, although I refuse to take credit for such awesomeness.

2003-05-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today of what books have shaped my mind. First, of course, is the Bible...which has given me most comfort but also most revelation and revival. I read in another book somewhere that though we pray for revival we don't truly want it. Revival hurts! It takes the old and comfortable and shakes it around, perhaps tears it away.

Surprised by Joy...I know I mention this one alot. For some reason, I can relate quite well with CS Lewis.

Like him, I often get caught up in the beauty of the words I read that I have to detach and think about the meaning separately. It makes for very long reading! :)

And also, if you ever give me a book you can count on the fact that I will read it. I am just now settling back into pleasure reading instead of required reading - it's lovely.

What other books? The Underground History of American Education - John Taylor Gatto. This was a scary book, but caused my certain revival towards homeschooling or something of that nature. A very hard read...meaning I had to keep a dictionary beside me the whole time. But now my vocabulary is full of excellent words I will never use.

Passion and Purity - Elisabeth Elliot. The standard for my circle. I had always heard about it but never read it until last summer. Helped me understand ways to turn my dormant passion into something useful. Or rather, redirect it for the time being.

Francis Bacon - his various essays. They're all different...it would take me awhile to explain about each one.

Ogden Nash - poetry. Funny, not too serious, but definitely chock full of ironic truth.

Jesus Freaks - DC Talk/VOM. IS my all for Jesus? Sometimes, though, I think it may be easier to stand up to your enemies than to stand up to your friends.

2003-05-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

On the nightstand: The Case For Faith from Elizabeth.

Excellent book. And I need a re-juve...life is pretty hard at the moment. That's how life is, of course, but having some divine companionship makes the journey 300% easier.

2003-05-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

More shoutouts because I feel like it:

Hey Sammas! - I know you read my blog.

Hey Alisha! - Spiffy website.

Hey Deanna! - AWESOME Starbucks cup. Thanks girl. Spiffy straw and moola to boot! You and Lisa are way too much.

Hey Kate! - What is going on?

Hey Pirate! - I tried the pi trick. It didn't work.

Hey ________! - Insert your name there.

2003-05-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Arielle!

[This is a test to see if she reads my blog.]

2003-05-27T16:09:00.000-07:00

Disappointment

Her hair was a waving bronze, and her eyes -
Deep wells that might cover a brooding soul;
And who, till he weighed it, could ever surmise
That her heart was a cinder instead of a coal.

-John Boyle O'Reilly

One of my favorite poets. That was his smallest poem, but what can be said in 100 words can often be said in less.

For some reason the third line popped into my head today. Odd! So I searched out the whole thing and decided it was blog worthy.

2003-05-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Highlights of being in New York last week:

1] Eating bagels every morning at the cutest bagel shop down the street from my hotel.
2] Riding the subway. Getting lost in Queens.
3] Knocking on the door of Fire House 23. Talking to the firefighters and getting them to sign my FDNY shirt.
4] Getting NYPD cops to sign my FDNY shirt. Getting laughed at.
5] Being told quite sincerely by one of the cops: Education is the one thing they cannot take away from you.
6] Having the actor who plays Ed on "Ed" check me out on the street.*
7] The dude with dreadlocks who helped me get through the turnstile at the subway because I didn't go fast enough and it locked on me. The term "shorty" said in a Brooklyn accent is hilarious! I'm not THAT short, am I?**
8] Almost being run over by a bus and also a taxi. And also a beamer except that I ran to the curb fast enough.
9] Being asked out by an NYPD cop. Saying dreeeeaaammmm onnnnn.
10] Being whistled at on 57th by a double decker bus full of sailors.
11] Two words: Fleet Week!
12] Walking around Ground Zero in those dumb Mia boots that I paid too much for.***

Then the standards: Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, seeing Beauty and the Beast off-Broadway, Rockefeller Center, Tiffany's, Macy's....5th Avenue, 34th Street****...my favorite was the Empire State Building. Everything is so small from there.

*I didn't know who he was at first. Then a few days later, we went to the CBS store and I saw him on a Tshirt. I was like, Hey! That's umm....Ed!

**Yes, I am.

***I was positive I was bleeding puddles into those boots. We got a frap at Toomanybucks, went outside in the freezing cold and sat at a table right in front of a fountain. Then it started raining. Then the wind was blowing and the fountain water was spraying on us. Bleeding feet, water from above and the side, cold and I was underdressed, and drinking a frap with ice. Smart me!

****The true miracle on 34th street is that my feet didn't fall off my ankles. Was wearing same boots as above.

More later, but that about covers it.

2003-05-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

I care far too much about what other people think of me.

Goodbye Texas.

2003-05-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I just cannot understand. What is the point of lying when the truth is so much more interesting? What is the point of lying anyway? To make someone think something that they undoubtedly believe? Hmm! What a jolly strange world.

oh D, it was so good to talk yesterday. It made my day 4000% better.

2003-05-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out how to view private comments.

Kool-Ade? Ummm...whatever you say Pirate.

2003-05-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

I leave for New York on Tuesday morning. So if you have something to say to me, please say it. I'll be out of cyberland until Sunday.

Graduation was so...final. Actually, I thought it was the end of school. I think I was wrong. Because here I sit writing a speech and an hour ago I was studying for another test!

2003-05-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

God is my strong salvation, what foe have I to fear? In darkness and temptation, my light my help is near!

That is one of the very best hymns. Zing gave me an Elisabeth Elliot book. I love it. I read almost the whole thing while watching choir practice. It's a book for graduation...I wish I could type it all up here.

Elizabeth - it really is a good book! I wanna know what yours is about.

2003-05-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

Kate, Kate, Kate. Did you talk to him? About It? I hope you did. But if not, life goes on.

2003-05-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

A stolen list about stuff that no one cares about anyway.

1. [deleted because I love anonymity]

2. What color pants are you wearing? Black.

3. What are you listening to right now? Silence.

4. What is the last thing you ate? Fries and then my huge Coke spilled all over the floor of the car. Special.

5. If you were a crayon, what color would it be? Fuschia. Or orange.

6. How is the weather? Hot, humid. The usual. I wish I lived just a tad closer to the coast where I could get a whiff of a breeze every now and then.

7. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Everything. I am a very attentive person.

8. [deleted because I don't even know the person that I stole this from]

10. How are you today? I don't know yet. It's too early to tell.

11. Favorite drink? Dasani unless it comes without ice. Coke is really my favorite but if I say that then I will get that email about how it is so bad for you forwarded to me a hundred times.

12. [deleted because I felt like deleting it]

13. Favorite sports? Spanish soccer.

14. Hair color? Reddish brown.

15. Eye color? Chocolate.

16. Do you wear contacts? Yep.

17. [I like randomly deleting dumb questions]

18. Favorite food? Ceaser salad.

19. The last movie you watched? The Mummy Returns. I still haven't seen The Mummy, but I think I got the jist of it. It was very dumb.

20. Favorite day of the year? Tomorrow.

21. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Yep. Have never done so in my life. Did I ever blog about my policies?

22. Do you like scary movies or happy ending movies better? Neither.

23. Summer or Winter? Winter.

24. Hugs or kisses? Depends on who it's from. Dah.

25. Relationships or one night stands? Neither.

26. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.

30. Living arrangements? In a house.

31. Reading any good books? Am about to read Surprised by Joy again...by CS Lewis. I need a re-juve.

32. What's on your mouse pad? I have this little touch sensor thing on my laptop - hence no mousepad.

33. [dumb question]

34. What did you do last night? Went to Kathryn's. Ate fries. Discussed ... um nevermind what we discussed.

35. Favorite smells? Windex. Ammonia. The usuals.

36. What is the first thing you think of when you first wake up? What day is it?